Rangers Snap Losing Streak in Slugfest, Top Caps in Shootout

First off, I would like to say that chugging beers while watching Hess get his ass kicked was extremely satisfying. I cannot wait to go back to the bar when Travis is working and throw stuff at him then point to the poor unsuspecting schlep next me. That guy can kick some serious ass. Also, I never admitted that Hess started to look "completely bad ass", he merely stopped looking like a retard which in turn looked decent compared to his uncoordinated start. As soon as we figure it out we will have the video posted on here. Its a little grainy because of the lack of lights we had but you can still see the beating. Anyway, I'm trying to recruit some Rangers fans to actually read and talk some hockey on this site, so since the Rangers broke out of their dick sucking streak tonight with a huge win I decided to write a semi-credible article following the game:


The last time the Rangers hosted the Washington Capitals at MSG the blueshirts skated out to a dominating 4 – 0 lead, only to have Alex Ovechkin return the favor by erasing that lead and eventually winning the game in overtime. I just happened to be at the garden that night to see first hand one of the saddest collapses in recent Rangers history. The first half of the game was awesome. I spilled a shit load of beer jumping from my seat in celebration four times. Luckily we were in the first row of our section so I could not soak anyone in the seats in front of us this time (last year there was a young couple seated in front of our drunk asses that was not so lucky).
But tonight was a different story. Tonight the Rangers managed to break out of their five game losing streak in style, on the winning side of a 5-4 final by way of shootout.



This was honestly one of the best all around games I have seen all season and not just because my team came away with the W. I would be saying the same thing even if the caps had won tonight because this game had everything a fan could ask for. There were 8 goals, more than enough hits, 2 fights, 4 lead changes, countless great saves, power plays, shorthanded chances, overtime, a shootout, and all at a feverish fast pace. To top it all off, Mike Green made history by tying Mike O' Connells mark for consecutive games with a goal by a defenseman at seven.


Losers of the last five straight games, the Rangers knew tonights game would be an unlikely W to break out of this slump. The Caps are among the eastern conferences elite, currently sitting in the number two spot in the standings and coming into the garden tonight with a 7-2-1 record in their last ten. The game started with a great back and forth pace that did not end until final seconds of overtime ticked away. Then Colton Orr and Donald Brashear dropped the gloves and the building erupted. Two of the nastiest fighters in the league going at it, and they didn't disappoint. These two beasts threw haymakers at each other for a minute and twenty seconds, an eternity for a hockey fight, each trading huge shots square in the face. If one of these guys punched me in face I would shit my pants and I'm pretty sure my head would explode, yet these animals never went down and eventually had to be separated by the refs. Awesome. Anybody who thinks fighting should be banned from hockey is either not a real fan and doesn't have enough knowledge to know what their talking about or is just a huge pussy. But I cannot get started on the that topic right now because I would be here all night, we will talk about that some other time for sure.


Aaron Voros dropped the gloves right after the ensuing face off and once again ignited a fire in the garden faithful. Ryan Callahan got the blueshirts on the board minutes later before the Caps stormed back with two goals of their own. The Rangers tied it on Lauri Korpikoskis goal in the second period before Washington re-took the lead. New York got one back from Markus Naslund to tie the game and then Paul Mara shelfed a point shot to take the lead once again. It has been seven games since the Rangers scored four in a game, only managing five goals in their last five games during this recent slump. It still amazes me how a team with the offensive talents of Drury, Gomez, Naslund, Zherdev, etc. cannot score to save their cock n balls. The atrocious power play is absolutely killing this team. The Rangers power play, or lack there of, went 0 for 6 tonight including a wasted 5 on 3 for 34 seconds followed by a wasted 4 minute double-minor. That fucking sucks! Get that PP together Renney! I know I'm talking out of my ass but how hard can it be? Not scoring on a 5 on 3 late in the 3rd is ridiculous, especially when you can't even register a single shot during that time. After those shitty power play chances I thought for sure Washington would put it away in the closing minutes. But tonight our boys pulled it off by crashing the net, getting rebounds and playing a very physical game, basically they finally played simple hockey (fucking thank you!). Ovechkin was kept in check all night (mostly by Mara) with physical play although the leagues ultimate stud did get a goal to briefly prolong the shootout and threw his 230 pound wrecking ball ass around all game for a total of 13 hits. I love Ovechkin, by far the leagues best player. Forget Crosby, forget Malkin. Not only do you have to worry about Ovechkin winning the game by himself, but you also had better skate with your head up or else he will murder you. The best all around player I have seen since the lockout. All A.O. Does is score goals and kill people. I love it and I hope he wears a blueshirt someday. At least we don't have to see him again until a possible playoff situation.


Mike Green tied it at four, scored his 20th and 21st goals of the season to go along with tying O' Connells record. He scored two beautiful top-shelfers and is a sure thing for the Norris trophy as the leagues best D-man in my eyes. After both teams exchanged close calls in the overtime session it was on to a shootout. Nigel Dawes got the rangers on the board first and Henrik Lundqvist stopped both Washington shooters before facing Ovechkin as Washingtons third and final shooter. Both Lundqvist and Theodore played outstanding games despite allowing four goals apiece. Ovechkin forced an extra shootout round when his shot found daylight between Lundqvists pads. Great shot though, he had about a split second to force it in there and made it through by a cunt hair. Callahan then shot for the Rangers and rang his shot right off the crossbar but got a lucky bounce as the puck shot downward off the crossbar, off Theodores ass and into the net! I knew that we were gonna need some luck and some hard-nosed hockey to snap outta this slump and if banking a shot off a pipe and into an ass for a goal isn't luck than I don't know what is. Tom Renney couldn't even watch as King Henrik sealed the win with a pad stop on the final shooter for a much deserved win in a very entertaining game. Nice work blueshirts. Now you just have to beat philly on Sunday for me. Losing to the flyers is unacceptable because I live in philly and I hate them with a gut-burning passion. Losing to the flyers counts as ten losses for me. Not trying to overlook Florida on Friday but can't help it.


On another note, Sean Avery made his first step toward wearing a blueshirt again when he was assigned to our AHL team in Hartford. Fucking awesome! This team has been missing its swagger ever since Avery left. It seems like the Rangers are his most likely destination but there is still a possibility that a lower-seeded team can claim him off waivers before the Rangers do, and if that happens I will have to send death threats (maybe some boxes of shit) to their offices. New York wants its Avery back! Until then, Go Rangers.




- Bows